Illusions of the Mind
by Destielixer
Summary: After Norman's death, Carter is beginning to feel that he is the one responsible for the man's death. When the FBI agents come to clear Norman's belongings, he claims the ARI for himself. In the visual world, he begins to imagine things, people, specifically Norman himself. Blayden, ONESHOT.


**AN: Hey guys! This is my first ever Blayden fic so please be nice. I got into this fandom thanks to watching PewDiePie's Let's Play, Heavy Rain. I really love the graphics of the game, it's a really beautiful game, well and when i saw Norman i just knew that i had to ship him haha so here it is, a rather angsty/sad fic, my first go at a Heavy Rain, Blayden fic. Please do read and leave me some reviews! Thanks!**

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The rain was still falling hard. It never seemed to stop. If anything it only got heavier with the death of one FBI agent, Norman Jayden. He'd given his life for the team. Well not that the team had accepted him in the first place, Carter Blake himself hated the guys fucking guts. But now that things were over, now that the origami killer was dead, things changed. They had always been at loggerheads from the moment they met right until the end and even though Carter never said it, his mind knew better than anything that he missed the FBI profiler.

He watched now as the FBI came in to clear what little that Jayden had in his office. Those stupid glasses…he overheard them as they stood talking with the boss. "He doesn't have a family, no next of kin, so we'll be burning these things," one of them said, monotonous. Like it meant nothing. Like they saw agents die every day and they didn't care. That would be the way he would treat it too but, this one person was different, Norman had gotten to him…Carter wheeled back his chair, going over to them.

"The glasses, can I have them? I'd like to keep them," he said. It was a high tech piece of equipment, it would help in the future investigations. That's what he told himself when he went to ask for it. He didn't care what they would say, he just needed something to remember Norman by. Something to remind him that it was his fault that the other was dead.

"Did you know Jayden?" the FBI agent asked.

"I…uh…yeah, we worked on the same team," Carter lied.

The agent scoffed, "I see. Well you'll be wanting the gloves as well, goes along with it. It's called the ARI by the way, Added Reality Interface. Should be good having something like that in your department," the agent remarked handing him the glasses and the glove that accompanied it, before he left. _'Snobs,'_ he thought to himself.

He stood there, Norman's most prized possession in his hands. He would try them on tonight. Now, he needed to finish the paper work.

"Carter, tomorrow's the funeral for Norman, you coming?" he boss, Chief Perry asked him later as he was about to leave.

"No," he said.

"I know you two have had your differences but he gave one for the team. A team which you broke up Carter Blake. Don't think I don't know, you told him not to interfere because you thought Mars was the killer. You didn't take no for an answer, that's why Norman left to do his own investigation…and look where it ended him…"

Carter shunned the reminder, he didn't need more of this, "Sorry Chief, I ain't going and that's final."

With that he turned his back to Chief Perry and left the station. He got into his car now, setting the ARI on the passenger seat beside him. A place where Norman had once sat, closing his mind to that image he started the engine and pulled out of the lot. He didn't need more reminders that Norman's death had been partially his fault.

If only the man had been more fucking supportive of his idea, that would have gone well. But no, he had to be the fucking headstrong bull that he was. A bull that was right though. He stopped at the traffic light now. The engine on the car a soft humming sound that could be heard over the loud falling of the rain. With the way Norman had died…falling right into those steel metal crushers…there wouldn't even be a body left to put into the ground tomorrow…The thought of that was for some reason saddening. He wouldn't get to see the younger not even once. The last he'd seen was when he'd told Norman he'd be happier if he left the precinct.

As he pulled up into the driveway of his house, he cut the engine, took the ARI and the glove that accompanied it and headed into the house. His house, empty and cold. He was a divorcee, his wife choosing to leave him because of his temper, because of his anger. His children not wanting to spend time with him because they feared him. But what did he care? He didn't need goddamn people to survive. He'd been alone all this time.

_'No, but you had a partner, remember Jayden? The one you killed? He dared to challenge you, dared to work with you in the same team,' _his mind taunted him as he shrugged out of his jacket and hung it on the coat rack. He headed straight upstairs for a shower, putting the ARI on the bedside table now.

Working the clothes off his body, he stepped into the warm shower, letting the hot water caress his skin. The rain had stayed too long here and it only served to make him feel more dreary, more depressed. His mind flew back to the time he'd first met the young FBI agent on the site of one of the victim's death scene.

Norman had asked him for permission to enter the crime scene, politely. He'd been so polite and Carter had answered him brusquely and as unfriendly as possible. He didn't need stupid FBI agents in on his case messing up his work. Those bloody beaurecratic snobs would always think themselves better than just the normal cop.

_'He didn't think you were beneath him. In fact he did ask nicely for your opinions until you got all mad and blasted your fucking top off at him. That's what triggered him to be nasty to you,' _his mind told him.

Carter toweled himself dry, pulling on a clean set of clothes now as he settled down on the bed. He could try out the ARI right now…that would be nice. Have some fun with a dead man's toy. He shook his head, hand reaching for the glove as he pulled it on, then putting on the glasses, he pressed the little button on the right side that seemed to get it started and immediately there was a darker grey hue over the room.

You could choose different landscapes there was still case information stored in there from the origami killer's case and Carter went to look at that, after choosing himself the landscape of a meadow. His hands moved to touch the files opening them and playing the clip of data, the golden watch of a new Lieutenant's added to the notes. "You're pretty smart Jayden I'll give you that," he murmured as he replayed the recorded clip.

He would have missed that had it not been in the notes section. The FBI boy had given so much for the team, he was always getting beaten up apparently, he thought as he looked at another clip, this time with a bulkier man, looking to be an ex convict. But somehow, the small frame of his had managed to withstand the brutal blows and he would come out victorious.

_'Then why didn't he for that last battle…' _he thought. There had to be a recording here…right? Unless the stupid man hadn't thought of bringing this along to catch the killer, which as he found was the case. There was nothing on the night that he had died. No files, notes or anything.

"I can always tell you the story you know," came a voice, a startlingly familiar voice. Carter looked to where the voice was coming from and balked, for leaning under the shade amongst the trees stood a man that should have been dead.

"Jayden…what…how…" he stuttered looking at the figure in the same slacks, white shirt, black jacket and that deep green tie that he always wore, looking smart to boot and very alive. "You can't be here. You're…" he paused he couldn't finish that.

"I'm here to haunt you," Norman said with a roll of his green eyes as he shook his head, "The ARI is able to capture images, even of the dead."

"So…you're dead…and a spirit now?" Carter asked.

Norman shrugged, "I have no clue. Maybe the ARI traps its users here after their death or something. I don't know," he said as he approached, taking a seat at the edge of the bed that the other was sitting on.

"I see…" Carter murmured as he shifted a little making space for the other, "I'm sorry I didn't do more…" he said, it just felt appropriate to apologize.

"I don't think you'd have done anything else if you were given a second time around. You'd still be the same. Headstrong and running down the wrong path, not listening to what anyone else says because you think you're right…" Norman murmured, "I don't blame you anyway. I took the risk the moment I set out for the origami killer alone. I knew it might end in me being dead. But what's there to lose? I don't have a family or anything, no love life…better to lose one loner and have no one mourn than to lose a cop like you."

Carter was quiet at that. No wonder Norman always looked so out of it, so distant in a room full of people. He never got the chance to socialize, he didn't know how without a family...That's why he'd stayed lonely and when given the chance…given the chance to work with him he'd gone and thrown him out to the wolves. "Sorry isn't going to cut it isn't it…" he muttered. He was responsible for Jayden's death he confirmed that.

Yet Norman gave him a little smile, "No it's not going to cut it…but like I said I don't blame you Blake. I slipped up. I let Shelby pull me along into that metal crusher. If I hadn't slipped up," he shrugged, "who knows I might still be here and you'd still be mad at me."

"I don't think so. I'd have congratulated you on it. I'd have told you I was wrong and…" Carter shook his head, "I'd have made it up to you. I really would have."

"Gods you've got to stop being so hard on yourself," the other said putting a hand on his shoulder and Carter nearly jumped when he felt the other's hand touching him, "it isn't your fault Carter, look at me. It's not your fault…" he said.

Carter looked into Norman's green eyes, how he fucking wished the boy was back, alive and well. His death would forever be on his conscience and it was just only now that he felt that deep ache inside him as he looked at the FBI profiler once more. He wished so hard he was alive. Carter felt tears sliding down his eyes beneath the glasses as he leaned in to embrace the younger man, leaning against the other as he sobbed, "I'm sorry…" he chanted over and over.

"I'd do anything to have you back…" he whispered.

If anyone looked into the room of Lieutenant Blake, they would see him curled up hugging thin air. Not knowing that the ARI had projected the image of a certain dead, Norman Jayden, the person that Carter had formed a bond with and now regretted having not listened to him, regretted shouting at him and getting into insignificant fights because now, Norman Jayden was just an illusion, a projection of thought by the ARI.


End file.
